First Day of School Prayer

So today was the first day of Jessi's last year of high school, and Robby's first day of his last year of elementary school. Meanwhile, Jason is starting week three of college classes out in Colorado. Listen carefully friends, it is NO joke when I say, TIME MOVES TO FAST! I feel like I blinked and lost 5 years. 

I saw this prayer today and had to share it, and blog it so I could save it. It captures everything. 

El Shaddai,
Walk with them. Reveal Yourself—in ways old and new. Please be near.
Fuel their passions. Strengthen their resolve. Fill their hearts with peace and love.
When loneliness comes, be their Friend.
When fear overwhelms, be their Rock.
When the path seems hidden, be their Light.
When they are broken, heal their hurts.
When they doubt their calling, be their ever Burning Bush.
When they doubt You, show up big.

May they fall in love with learning.
May they discover new gifts.
May they steward well their money, their talents, their time.
May they discern Your truth and cling to it. Tight.

I pray for a church home where they can find community and be fed.
I pray for a mentor who will challenge them and cheer them on.
I pray for some life-long, life-giving friends.

Build into their being tenacity and resilience,
Patience and compassion,
Boldness and gentleness,
And a deep dependence on You.

When they trip and fall, or when they run headlong in the wrong way, be their Father. Pursue them relentlessly. Pierce their soul. Lift them up. Dust them off. And bring them back.

You are God

So, while I know this year will again fly by with a lot of new challenges for Jason, a lot of last times for Jessi and a world of growth for Robby, I pray that in all that this year brings, that my children will continue to grow in faith. 

Here's to another school year! 

Late Night Call

No parent ever wants "that" call. That call that starts, "Mrs. Slaughter? ... This is officer so-n-so, calling for your daughter Jesslyn... She was in an accident..." You can't prepare your heart quick enough to not stop beating, or to tell your stomach not to fall out. All you can do is pray.

We were blessed. She was truly being watched over last night. I pray every day for my kids, their decisions, their safety, etc... I feel that God truly had his hand around her last night. She had reached for her Gatorade, and hit the rumble strip on the fog line and jerked the wheel to the left and over corrected, crossed oncoming traffic and flipped her car upside down. What didn't happen... She didn't hit oncoming traffic. She didn't go off the road into the group of trees on the other side of the driveway. She wasn't injured. At. All. She said her legs were "hard to pull out" of the car, but they weren't pinned. She squeezed out the passenger side window, the rest of the glass in the vehicle was blown out, but she crawled through the glass covered ground and had a tiny tiny scratch on her pinky knuckle. 

I've handled many many auto claims. Many with the exact same scenario, that have ended much worse. I've seen first hand the results of what that overturned vehicle can do. But last night, we were the ones blessed by God's grace and protection. I didn't get the even scarier phone call that they had taken her to the hospital. 

As I went to bed last night, I couldn't even begin to worry about the ticket, the car, the insurance. All I could do was thank God, over and over and over, for keeping my baby girl safe and watching over her. Somehow, someway, he will help us replace the vehicle. But replacing my baby girl is impossible. 

Lord, Thank You. 

All My Worries...

Life has been so crazy these last few weeks. Graduation is crashing down around me, one month from today! I've become stressed, worried that I won't get everything done, that I won't be able to afford everything, that I'll forget something, etc... I was ordering graduation open house invites last night and I have No. Idea. how many to order?? Getting a list from my son is about impossible. He procrastinates as much as his mom.

So last night, as I was freezing cold (thank you Michigan for the snow in April) at soccer practice for almost two hours, I was getting caught up on my devotionals and reading through the Bible in a year plan. I heard this song... then I heard it again this morning. God is speaking to me.

Strangely Dim

"But when I fix my eyes on all that your are, and every doubt I feel deep in my heart, grows strangely dim. All my worries fade, and fall to the ground, cause when I seek your face, and don't look around, any place I'm in, grows strangely dim."

I've been so focused on what I need to do, that I've started to lose track of who will provide, and who will guide my plans. The good Lord, probably doesn't give a whole lot of thought to whether I should have a taco bar or sandwiches at the open house, he probably doesn't need to choose if I leave it open for 2 hours or 4, but he does care that I seek His face through out the entire month. And that I fall on my knees and dump all my worries and stress at His feet. Or that, I fall on my knees in thanksgiving and praise Him for all the blessings we have seen in these 18 years with my son. 

I've been so busy worrying about this next big step that I haven't enjoyed the blessings of it all. He has a fantastic opportunity ahead of Him. God has blessed Him. God has blessed us. The future is wide open. There are question marks and unknowns at every turn. My son is going to COLORADO. Yes, he will be out of state and will be wrestling for Western State Colorado University, and Yes, I'm beginning to miss him already. I'm making lists and lists in my head of everything he will need. Those lists turn into money worries and time worries, and then I begin to lose myself in it all. 

I've worried so much so, that I barely took the time to thank the Lord for my youngest son's baptism on Sunday. I'm letting the blessings slip away... So today, and hopefully everyday, I will fix my eyes on Him. I will pass along these worries and fears, no matter how insignificant in the overall scheme they may be. I will allow Him entry into my plans and watch "All My Worries fade"... because in God's hands, all the problems I have, do grow "Strangely Dim." 

From the First to the Last

It's been a crazy, emotional week. Today is my son's last wrestling practice of his high school career. You other mom's out there know how this feels. It's like a series of flashbacks playing over all the times they've been on the mat since they were 5.

Do you remember their very first practice? The first time they won? The first time they lost? The first time he cried because it was all over and he just wanted to keep wrestling? The first time you thought he was injured? The first time he was... His first medal. His first trophy. His first time at State. His first placing at State. The list is endless... There are so many moments and memories. 

The lessons learned growing up are many, but the lessons learned in this sport are priceless. I know my son has learned humility and pride both for himself and the team. He has learned to keep going and never quit. He has learned hard work, dedication, commitment. He has learned that the real success is all the time you put into the "getting there" not just the win itself. He has learned that we all suffer failures, have bad days, and the winners don't settle there  and accept it. He has learned that the real winners in this sport are those that fight the hardest, over come the obstacles, and put all their Glory in God. The lessons learned from this sport are those things that have made him a better man, son, friend, brother, and a better leader. 

I want to just cry every time I think "last practice"... Tomorrow is the "last" State Tournament. Eventually, in the next three days, we will face his "last" match in high school. I have a feeling this may be the hardest three days that I have had in a long time. To those who don't have kids in sports or wrestling you may not get it, but believe me - this is way worse than watching them drive for the first time, go on their first date, etc... this is watching the "end" of a great season of their life. Watching the end of something that has been infused in their person for so many years... He will leave his mark on this sport. He has broke records, set records, and will wrestle more in his future, but this sport has also left it's mark on him, on all of us. 

I only pray that he will leave it all on the mat these last three days, as the saying goes, "Go big or go home." All that matters is that he uses his talents and abilities to honor God, and to do the best in all that he does. I pray that he leaves this wrestling season knowing that he did his best, that he got up when he didn't think he could, that he went farther then some thought possible, that he didn't quit, and that he didn't give up on what his dreams were. I pray that he sees the value of both the wins and the losses. The he realizes the true successes or often not seen by others, it's those horrendous practices, the grueling diet, and the ability to overcome it all and keep working towards the goal. Other than that, it's just another wrestling match, right? Bring me the kleenex... 

Coffee and Chat

I've stuck with my plan to read thru the Bible in a year. I'm on track with my daily readings. Sounds good right? Wrong. You are probably thinking I am sounding like a horrible person. Truth is. I've "crammed" those readings in. I started the year off right, by putting that quiet time and daily reading at the beginning of my day. But lately, I realize it's 11pm and I haven't read it yet and I fall asleep reading my daily Bible reading. This is wrong.

The other day I did manage to get up early, grab a cup of coffee in my quiet house and focus on my reading. I felt so much better. I absorb it. I learn. I am moved. I am NOT falling asleep and making myself read it.

So here I am, today, 1:05pm. And I haven't read it yet. So why am I blogging instead of reading you ask? Because I had to get this off my chest. I've been trying to put so many things in line. My fitness, my finances, my faith, my family (no, not in that order) and juggling them has become a literal circus. Do I get up early and exercise or get up early and read? When is the best time to do one or the other? When do I get the laundry, dinner and family stuff done? What about work?

Life is a perpetual juggling act and I am very, very far from perfecting it all. Here it is, almost the end of February and I don't have a schedule for my day that fits. Of course the everyday surprises that pop up don't help that at all either.

So what works for YOU? How do you juggle it all. I feel the best when I start my day with a quiet cup of coffee and chat with God. I also feel great starting off with exercise, but yet I also like a lunchtime workout (which I just finished).

Let's hear it, let's pour a cup of virtual coffee and chat about what works for you? I want to know. I want to know who out there has it "all" planned out. Who out there flies by the seat of their pants, like me... If you are like me, what do you do to keep yourself centered and on track? Is it a lack of discipline, lack of focus, or just to much in general going on? I need answers!

Lessons Learned from Lack of Coffee

We all like to savor that coffee aroma, smell that fresh cup, and most of us are waiting for that first sip to ease our way into the day. Now back before I started Shakeology and was a full fledge coffee addict, today would have been a complete disaster and I would be in emergency mode... My Keurig 2.0 (see prior post on my Early Gift) quit dispensing water this afternoon. YIKES, no coffee right?

I found it amusing to realize that the panic that set in the last time my coffee pot died, versus the lack of panic when it happened today was both because I no longer NEED it and because I now have different priorities.

Before I NEEDED it. I had to have coffee just to function. I could. not. hold a morning conversation pre-coffee. I was in nod and stumble mode until that first cup was gone. Now, half the time I don't drink the cup I brew, or like today, it's just to keep me warm and because I still LOVE the aroma of it. Before I would never have used a Keurig, I went through so much coffee it would have cost me $10.00 a day for all those K-cups. Now, I use 1 maybe 2. I like it for the hot water dispensing on my green tea bags as much as for the quick coffee.

Anywhooo... back to the story. It died. I called the 800 Help Me Keurig number. They were fabulous! Talk about customer service! She walked me through a couple troubleshooting steps, I basically did surgery on the thing. We tried a couple more times with a little bit more result (my 10 oz of water took over 5 minutes and 4 oz took 3... yikes), but I was able to get enough out for this afternoons cup to keep me warm while I finish up work, yes and blog.  But, after a few minutes of unsuccessfully getting water to do more than drizzle out, she said they will get a new one in the mail to me today! Badabing! That was easy.

I love it when companies step up and do the right thing, even if it's just a coffee pot right? Makes me realize that in life, things could be so much easier if we just step up and do the right thing. We screwed up? Call it out. Step forward accept the blame and make amends if needed and move on. It's so much better than harboring ill feelings, trashing people unnecessarily, and causing that mole hill to become a mountain. I've done this. I'm sure you've done this. There are times that rather than facing the music we think it's better to place blame, hold a grudge, hide away to try and escape, etc... We all want to face our fears right? Whether our fear is not having a cup of coffee in the morning or taking blame and asking for forgiveness for something we've done.

The best way to fix something is tackling it head on. I've learned this the hard way. I'm a procrastinator by nature. In every area. You name it I'll get it done... at The. Last. Minute. This drives my poor husband bonkers. I've had other appliances that I knew were on their last leg, or had died, and I just put it off and put it off because I was too busy. Then when I did call (this is a TRUE story), I was 15 days past my warranty date! Talk about a screw up.

There are so many examples in life, little things like my call to Keurig, that could apply to much bigger issues. My OneWord for the year was Brave. Doing one thing each day that "scares" me, or causes me discomfort. It may sound silly, but this is just another baby step for me in the right direction.

So thank you Keurig. Both for immediately replacing my brewer and for the lesson learned.

A New Day

Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I hit snooze. Sometimes I know I need to do something and I ignore it for As. Long. As. Possible. Sometimes my dishes sit in the sink for TWO days. Sometimes my laundry is a mountain that seems impossible to climb. And, sometimes, just sometimes, my daily grind begins to grind on me. 

These are days like today. Today I did NOT want to get up. My alarm was set for 4:30am, I had an early morning workout planned. I had conferences at 7:15am, I had to work, then another meeting at noon, then more work then a wrestling meet. I cannot get it all done. I managed to wash my blender and a few dishes. One load of laundry. Ironed the hubby's clothes for the wrestling meet. Made it to conferences almost on time, with my hair done, makeup on and REAL clothes - not workout clothes. On the way home, the days To-Do List was running through my mind. There was this never-ending list ahead of me. I was letting the grind grind me down. Walking up the walk to my door I saw this view... 

If I had slept in, I would have missed the sunrise, the sparkle of ice and frost on all the trees, the crunch of the snow under my feet. The cold, so cold it freezes in your nose, brisk air on my face. And the peace that comes early in the morning when it's just you and a glimpse of God's creation. This picture doesn't even do it justice. It was so gorgeous that I just stopped as I was mid-thought on item number 29 of today's list. I stopped and balanced my coffee and snapped a pic, thinking I'm lucky I even looked up to see this. I was so lost in my own world that I wasn't looking around. I wasn't looking for the glimpse of beauty that was right there in front of me. And if nothing else, I had a moment of peace in my busy day. A moment of thankfulness for the world I live in, the home I love, and the beauty that is around me. 

If we don't look beyond our own lives and to-do lists, we cannot be there for others. If we are obsessed with our own failures, how are we going to be a light to others? Life is meant to be lived. No just to be alive, not just breathing and doing, but truly lived. Enjoy all the little moments. Treasure all the little joys. Bless those around you. Be the glorious masterpiece God intended you to be. Instead of dwelling on what you have to do, dwell instead on what's been given to you. Some wise person once said, "Count your blessings." Today my blessings completely outnumber my to-do lists and my burdens. 

Letting Go...

As a mom of a senior, who is still undecided on which college, and plans on wrestling at college... It goes through my mind every morning, and I know it is not in my hands. I pray every day that in all the decisions that J makes that he will look to the Lord for guidance first. I remember being that age, making those decisions, and I failed - a lot - at seeking God's will. I wanted what was close, what was convenient for me. Not necessarily where I felt called to be.

I pray that J doesn't make those mistakes - not that I would change a lot - I have been blessed beyond measure even having failed Him, but following His plan may have made the road a little less bumpy along the way.

So today, I open my phone on my lunch to do my Daily Bible reading (reading through the Bible in a year - haven't missed a day yet), and this verse pops up.. 

Phil. 4:6 - 7"Do no be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Thank you Lord. Thank you for the reminder I needed. It is not up to me. It is out of my hands. I have NO control. And I surrender J's future to you. He has a good mind, a strong faith and an incredible work ethic. I'm blessed to know that wherever he goes, they will be lucky to have him. He is yours God. To use, to mold and to be a light for others for you. 

This senior year stuff is rough. Last home wrestling conference meet last night, I wanted to cry but held it together. Now, I'm a mess. In the quiet of my house, when everyone is gone, when it's just God and I. I am a mess. My baby is grown up and he's not mine, he never really was. He is a child of God, and I'm so glad; but my heart cries just a little as I see him walking out that door in a few months. 

Thank you Lord. Thank you for the 18 years of blessing's J has given to our family. Take care of my baby Lord when he ventures "out into the world" after graduation. I give all my worries and fears to you. It's hard, we as parents want control, we want what's "best." But, I give it all to you today Lord. I will let him go. I will let him spread those wings and watch as he follows a path set for him. 

Now, I can't even imagine your pain, Lord, when your only Son left to die on the cross. My heart breaks thinking of college, how small in the overall scheme of things... 

When God Smacks You

Don't you hate it when you read a book and it smacks you in the face? Or, rather, that God sends this book to you and when you just start to think, 'oh this is pretty good', then BAM, a line direct out of the book is delivered directly to your heart? Yeah. That happened. I once had someone refer to those moments as a "Godbrick," when God smashes you with a brick because you just aren't seeing his more subtle clues.

I'm reading Interrupted, by Jen Hatmaker, based on a recommendation from a great friend, Denise. She obviously wasn't aware that this book would be brutal to me, or maybe she did... But either way, it's good. Very good. In fact, I've highlighted, dog-eared and highlighted some more all through out this book. I should have been clued in when the cover says, "When Jesus WRECKS Your Comfortable Christianity." Anyway, thank you Denise, you've wrecked me, or should I say blessed me.

This section right here blew me away. After days of praying and contemplating tithing, giving, how much to give, who to give to, can I afford to give, can I afford to REALLY give, will giving and tithing make a difference, where will my money go, yes I've pondered all these and more... Then, I read this: 

"We do not get to opt out of living on mission because we might not be appreciated. We're not allowed to neglect the oppressed because we have reservations about their discernment. We cannot deny love because it might be despised or misunderstood. We can't withhold social relief because we're not convinced it will be perfectly managed. We can't project our advantaged perspective onto struggling people and expect results available only to the privileged. Must we be wise? Absolutely. But doing nothing is a blatant sin of omission. Turning a blind eye to the bottom on the grounds of "unworthiness" is the antithesis to Jesus' entire mission. How dare we? Most of us know nothing, nothing, of the struggles of the poor." (pg 62-63)

God doesn't always tell us WHO to give to, he tells us to give. He doesn't specify only love this person, he tells us to love everyone. I have more reading to do, but know I am re-thinking my entire thought process on this. I know many non-Christ followers who live by this, they give freely of their time and money, just because they are purely GOOD people. A very strong atheist I know, stops and talks to homeless people everyday, because they are human too and deserve our time and understanding. Then, there are professed "christ-followers"who would NEVER stoop to do something like that because they would say that person needs to get  a job. There is such a wide spectrum here. I've given money to the homeless person standing on the street corner; yet, I've also ignored them. When we can't give money to everyone, what do we have to give? God's Love. 

My goals this year included, "Being a Light" to others. This can be done through sharing, caring, giving and many other ways. But turning a blind eye, will not help me be a light. It only shadows the light I have. 

"When Jesus' followers asked what to do about the weeds in the harvest field, He said to treat them the same as the wheat, "because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them" (Matthew 13:29). (pg. 63)

I don't have the answers to who, how, how much, when, etc... to give of my time, my money. But I have a much clearer direction, and wide open eyes now that I've been smacked in the face by God. We make it too complicated. Giving should come from our heart, it should be joyous and something that pours from us. I'm working on this. When the thought crosses my mind, "you should pay for that", "you should give this," etc... Instead of doubting myself or worrying who's watching, what they will think about it, or if I "CAN", I need to just follow the leading in my heart and "DO". I can do it. I can do anything he calls me to do. Now, it's just listening to that call in your heart, finding that passion, and seeing in what direction you are led to serve. 

ps. get this book! 

Giving...

I have never been a tither... There. I confessed it. I've slacked for way too long. Using all the "normal" excuses. We didn't have the extra money. I could barely afford bills, camps, and everything else the kids needed.

I decided as part of my New Year ~ New You resolution that I would start tithing. 10% of all my Beachbody income and working on adding the additional % of my normal income. It's tough. I'm not used to this. But, I listened to a great message (I missed it as we were gone from church that week), week two of the "Drive" series by Pastor Jeff Arnett Drive #2 - Jan 12th Sermon. It's not "extra" income that I need to tithe. It's giving that tithe FIRST. That tithe is for God, it's not extra. It's changing my mindset on HOW to give.

I'm accepting TVC's tithe challenge. 12 weeks straight.

"Give, and it will be given to you. 

A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Luke 6:38

Haters and Heroes

Yesterday I was beginning to feel defeated, you try so hard and people still want to see what they want, they want to lay blame on the shoulders of people who don't deserve it. They want to tear down all the good that someone has worked so hard to create. BUT, I realize these people, these happy sucking vampires, are winning only if I let them. If I choose to focus on them and let my anger grow, then they win. If I choose to move on, ignore them, and create my own happy - then I win.

I've seen a few posts and articles over the last few days - people trying to change their world. People making it their goal to make someone else's life better, even in very small ways. This goes along with my last post, but reaching out to one person can change the momentum of their day, their life, and therein the world around them. I believe in the small ripples of change. You pay it forward today and the ripple moves on... Some people think it's silly, but have you ever purchased lunch or coffee for the car behind you? Try it sometime.

We can defeat the angry people, the haters of the world. They will forever exist, as that is human nature and sin. But, they don't have to defeat us.

Then I saw this video this morning and I got to thinking about every day heroes - Kid President how can you NOT love this kid...  Heroes

I have a lot of "heroes". Sometimes it's that stranger in the store you see going out of their way to help someone. It's the missionaries, the military personnel, the teachers, my kids, my husband, my parents... The high school students leaving sticky notes around the school. The students taking time out of their day to work with younger kids. The volunteers working with the elderly. The moms staying at home raising their kids... I could go on. There are SO many GOOD people. Life is good. God is good - all the time.

So today, I refuse to let the haters bring me down. I refuse to let the happy vampires ruin my Friday, my week or my life. These people are not my judge and jury. I don't live to please them. My happiness comes from within, your heart is the key, and my heart will not be hardened.

"For out of the heart come evil thoughts... These are what defile a person" 

Matt 15:19-20

The actions of the haters will only fuel my desire for change and to seek more kindness and love in this world. We were all created for a reason, doing nothing is most likely not our goal. We are all capable of great things. So DO SOMETHING today. You are here to make a difference. You are capable. You are meant for amazing things. "It's not enough to do nothing, It's time for us to do something..."

Feel free to comment below with how YOU are changing the world.

One Person, Every Day

A couple weeks ago I purchased this lovely set of notecards. They are nothing fancy, a Kmart special... But my intention was to send one person a HAND WRITTEN note each week. In the social media filled world we live in, with text messaging over phone calls, etc... the personal touch seems lost. I know how great it is to get one of those hand written notes from someone. It can make your day.
Well, I've sent out two, and today I was reminded of how important it is to take the few seconds a day to make someone else's day.

I've tried to impress on my kids since they were young that they need to say "Hi" to someone new each day. A kid at school, in their class that they don't know, someone walking down the hallway, etc... for us adults, maybe it's having that chatty conversation with the checkout girl at Walmart, instead of being to rushed to say hello. Maybe it's stopping at our neighbors to make sure all is well... Maybe it's picking up the phone and telling someone you hope they have a good day. Or, maybe it's dropping a real note in the mail, lunch box, wherever and telling someone you are glad they are in your life.

So many people rush through this life, too busy to connect with the people they walk past. How many times have you walked past someone without making eye contact because you didn't want to say "Hi"? How many times have you heard someone was having a rough time but figured it was none of your business? I'm not saying you have to get all the gory details, but drop a note and say "I'm thinking of you."

I know I'm at fault of doing all of the above. There are days the chatty checkout girl drives me insane, but really... she's there for 8 hours while people pay for their groceries and don't even SEE her. It literally breaks my heart to think about how many people and lives I've missed impacting by not taking those few seconds to care. I don't have to become best friends with the checkout girl, but I DO have treat her as a person. As someone who matters in this world. Every person we walk past is fighting some battle, would one person smiling at them change the course of their day? Their week?

You've heard about the power of a smile right?

How many times have we been guilty of this with our own family and friends? How many times have the kids come home and you are rushing around getting dinner and you didn't take the time to ask, "How was your day?" How many times have you fallen in bed at night, exhausted, and fell asleep without telling your spouse, "I love you."

Simple words, that mean a lot. Simple actions that take very few seconds of our day. Try it. Tonight after work when you are busy with your errands and picking kids up from school, when you would normally walk right past someone, make eye contact, say hello. give them a smile.

I'm giving myself a new goal. I'm going to try a bring a smile to one new person a day. Whether it's at the gas station, the post office, the grocery store, the school... wherever I might be. I'm going to take the extra few seconds to go out of my busy life and give a pleasant hello to some stranger. I'm also going to make a better attempt to connect with those people in my own life. Mostly my family, but also my friends.

I challenge you all to do the same. Make an impact, make a difference, give a smile - to one person, every day. Not only will you be sharing your smile, but you will also be changing your own life as well.

Matthew 25:40 

"'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, 

you did for me.'"

Worthy and Worth

After a week of Insanity Max 30, I have learned a lot. I have made it through scissor and "x" jumps, tricep dip crosses, and burpee suicides (who invents such a thing??), calf cramps, sore shoulders and shaky muscles EVERYWHERE. I have pushed myself to the MAX and fell flat on the floor dying (or so it felt for 5 seconds until I could catch my breath).

Warning... this picture is ugly, but the truth - #nofilter. I can't wait to introduce my volleyball players to these awesome, yet horrid moves.

But beyond the week of sweat and soreness, I've learned - a magic aha moment - that while I may be unworthy, I am worth it.  In the Bible, the story of Jacob, he is blessed and granted God's favor on his life. Yet, Jacob knew he was not worthy. Gen 32:10 "I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown..." And this is true for us all, we are not worthy of the blessings and favor He gives us in this life. I have failed Him in many many ways. Yet, I am still blessed. I know that I am unworthy.

However, I've only recently realized that being unworthy does not mean I'm not "worth" it. I am worth it. I am worth investing in myself, in both my physical and spiritual health. I am worth the extra hour a day to study the Bible and get a workout in. I am worth it, and my life is worth enough for me to value this spiritual and physical health. On top of that, my kids are worth having a mom that is "here". She is focused and committed to her family and their well-being. My husband is worth having a  wife of the same values. We ARE worth the investment. That is why God has invested His blessings in us. He knows are worth. He knows that our brokeness, our failures and shortcomings are avenues to bless others. 2 Cor 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness."

So while we have shortcomings, and we may fail Him on a daily basis, and we may be unworthy. We are worth it. YOU are worth it. You are worth every drop of sweat to be healthy. Every minute of quiet time with God. You are worth it.

Blessings and Stuff

I'm sure you've had "one of those days..." I'm having one today. Busy at work, busy at home. Phone won't quit ringing. Bills are due. I started a workout THREE times and had to stop to take care of something (problems of working at home).

I went to do laundry and the three loads I did yesterday multiplied somehow and there are another three loads waiting for me. I swear I just washed some of that stuff... I went to take a blueberry shake out of the fridge after my attempt at a workout, dropped it on the floor and had blueberry shake in my hair, on my neck, on my clothes, all over the floor, the fridge...  And, I wanted to scream.

But, out of nowhere this song popped into my head... This is the Stuff. So needed to hear this today, 

"In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed." 

Blueberry Shakeology in my hair, failed workout, busy day and on top of it all, I have to see that this is the stuff YOU use. The little things that you use to humble us, to guide us, to show us your plan is much much bigger than any that I think I may have. I thought I was on a schedule today, but you have shown me your schedule. 

"I've got to trust you know exactly what you're doing, might not be what I would choose, 

but this is the stuff you use...

Break me of impatience

Conquer my frustrations

I've got a new appreciation

It's not the end of the world."

So thank you Lord. Thank you for all my blessings, whether they feel like cursed blessings or not. You have blessed me richly in ways that money cannot touch. The little things, this STUFF that does drive me crazy, isn't going to define me, or my life. Your plans for me are much greater.

Today I will treasure the STUFF, I will look for the happy in all the crazy frustrations. Oh, look at that, with -16* weather the dog crapped in the basement... And, so is life. Excuse me while I go clean up ANOTHER mess. And no, I'm not joking. I'd post a pic but that would just be gross... 

Multi-Tasking Problems

I'm sure I'm not the only woman out there struggling with this. Multi-tasking. I need more focus and I'm trying to figure the BEST way to get it.

Here's a few quick questions for you:

* How many books are you reading right now?
I have one for enjoyment, one personal development and one devotional. I carry 3 books and a journal wherever I go...

* How many tabs do you have open on your browser?
I have three screens, laptop, 2 large monitor screens for work. I have three applications open for work, three tabs open for work. Then I have chrome open with youtube (playing my favorite music), and a few other tabs that I browse when I take a quick coffee break from my work screen...

* How many rooms do you clean at once?
LOL, this is bad for me... I often have good intentions of doing ONE chore. Dishes. Then I scrape a dish and see the garbage is full. So, I bag up the trash and then realize I should also do the trash in the bathroom. So, I go to the bathroom, bag up the trash, clean the toilet, wipe down the sink, and then leave. On the way back from the bathroom, I stop and pick up all the empty wrappers my kids have left sitting on the coffee table, the empty water bottles my husband left and any other trash laying around. I go to put this in the trash I bagged up and realize I left the bathroom trash in the bathroom.. I head back to the bathroom, my phone rings. As I answer it, I start pulling stuff out of the fridge, might as well add this to the trash. Get off the phone and start doing dishes. Then I realize it's almost dinner time, so I start working on dinner while I try and finish dishes. While doing this I realize the kitchen towel is dirty so I walk this to the laundry. Throw a load in the dryer, throw a new load in the wash. Head back to the kitchen. Probably whatever I have on the stove is boiling over, burning or somewhat in danger of being burnt. I deal with this. Then realize the news is on. I turn on the TV to listen to the news while I finish dinner. Kids get home. Dinner is served. Dishes aren't completed, the load of laundry in the dryer needs to be folded, the trash is sitting in the entryway, the bathroom trash is still bagged up in the bathroom, and now there are even more dishes because of making dinner. There is even more stuff to be picked up, because, HELLO, kids are home and they've emptied their bags all over the kitchen table. The dog has destroyed something that needs to be picked up in millions of pieces all over the living room floor. In picking this up I finally get the trash bagged up and outside. I finish laundry only to turn around and have the kids walk in with a huge load of nasty sweaty clothes. Ugh... And I give up. Time to sit on the couch with a cup of tea and read that personal development book that might just clue me in on HOW to deal with all the chores at once, that somehow doesn't require cleaning fairies or a maid...  Then repeat EVERY. DAY.

And my husband wonders why I can't remember things...

Baby Sister, It's Cold Outside...

Two words. Michigan. Winter.  Yep, it's cold outside, again. We avoided the cold and snow all through December, but it found us. I decided to take my workout outside in the beautiful sunshine, which is horribly deceiving, and shovel today... I bundled up and was thinking how good the crisp cool (quite an understatement) would feel. At the same time, it would give me a break in the sunshine...

I even made a fresh cup of coffee to deliver to my sister, who also works from home, next door. She still has Arizona in her blood and she couldn't stand the thought of walking the 50 ft from her office to her house to get more coffee (not that the GREAT big sister that I am I walked the 200 ft to her office from my house...). This is how I found her... 

I thought she gained 100lbs, but it was just the pile of blankets and coats wrapped around her... 

I delivered the coffee then started my workout, shoveling the drive and sidewalk. Within 5 minutes the cold had sucked ALL the air out of me and I couldn't feel my fingers - yes, I wore gloves. My cheeks were frozen as well, I could not keep the scarf close enough to my eyes while shoveling. So, while my steps and sidewalk are shoveled, it is pretty much a failed workout attempt. I mean, it did burn some calories, but I since I froze before I tackled the driveway, it did not burn as many as I hoped. Next time I attempt to shovel the windshield will be above -10*... 

Thank you Michigan, for reminding me that while the view looks beautiful, it is horridly COLD. 

Let It Go... and not the Frozen Kind.

As part of my dream/goal list for the year, is reading the entire Bible in a year. I started with the New Version ap and the Bible in a Year plan. Finished Day 5 today. Also successfully got up EARLY and read in the quiet or the morning. I miss those daily quiet times.

So, today's reading included Matthew 5, The Beatitudes "Beautiful Attitudes" ...

Matt 5:3-12  "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heave. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Matt 5:14-16 "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven."

Now this pic is not a great one, but my new water bottle has the same verse ^^, which is also on my "To-Do" list for 2015... Be a LIGHT to those around me.

So today, I'm working on both being a light and having a Beautiful Attitude, one of mercy. There were a few things that came up this weekend that really did not give me a beautiful attidute. I was angry, hurt and earlier felt like I should give someone my real thoughts on the situation. But instead, I will be merciful, I will be a peacemaker, and I will be a light. Even though they may not see me or my light. I will let it shine anyway!

So, today I said, "LET IT GO!" Let go of the negativity, let go of the critical remarks. And give yourself a dose of positivity today. I know it helped me!