Letting Go...

As a mom of a senior, who is still undecided on which college, and plans on wrestling at college... It goes through my mind every morning, and I know it is not in my hands. I pray every day that in all the decisions that J makes that he will look to the Lord for guidance first. I remember being that age, making those decisions, and I failed - a lot - at seeking God's will. I wanted what was close, what was convenient for me. Not necessarily where I felt called to be.

I pray that J doesn't make those mistakes - not that I would change a lot - I have been blessed beyond measure even having failed Him, but following His plan may have made the road a little less bumpy along the way.

So today, I open my phone on my lunch to do my Daily Bible reading (reading through the Bible in a year - haven't missed a day yet), and this verse pops up.. 

Phil. 4:6 - 7"Do no be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Thank you Lord. Thank you for the reminder I needed. It is not up to me. It is out of my hands. I have NO control. And I surrender J's future to you. He has a good mind, a strong faith and an incredible work ethic. I'm blessed to know that wherever he goes, they will be lucky to have him. He is yours God. To use, to mold and to be a light for others for you. 

This senior year stuff is rough. Last home wrestling conference meet last night, I wanted to cry but held it together. Now, I'm a mess. In the quiet of my house, when everyone is gone, when it's just God and I. I am a mess. My baby is grown up and he's not mine, he never really was. He is a child of God, and I'm so glad; but my heart cries just a little as I see him walking out that door in a few months. 

Thank you Lord. Thank you for the 18 years of blessing's J has given to our family. Take care of my baby Lord when he ventures "out into the world" after graduation. I give all my worries and fears to you. It's hard, we as parents want control, we want what's "best." But, I give it all to you today Lord. I will let him go. I will let him spread those wings and watch as he follows a path set for him. 

Now, I can't even imagine your pain, Lord, when your only Son left to die on the cross. My heart breaks thinking of college, how small in the overall scheme of things...