So here I am, home "alone" again on a Friday night. Technically, the hubby is home, but he's sleeping as he's a third shifter and working later tonight. The baby, who isn't a baby anymore, just left for the movies with friends, so it's me and the three dogs.
Part of me was frustrated, he's home long enough to dump his dirty clothes, shower and change, do a few chores then turn around and leave. It's not the laundry, if it was that bad I would make him do his own. It's not that he's gone, I'm glad he has friends and is enjoying being a teenager in summer. That's what we all wanted right? Movie with friends. Lake with the friends. It's the stillness. The stillness will get you.
When the older two were home, there was never stillness. The oldest wasn't gone much, the middle one was gone a lot, but I always had the youngest and his friends to entertain. Now with the older two gone, it's the stillness. The what do I do now?
Last night I went for a hike after he got home from work, showered and then went back to a friends. Today it's raining, so no hike for me. I'm no good at cooking for one, so leftovers or grilled cheese it is. There is only so many shows to binge watch, books to read...
And as I was throwing is laundry in and contemplating having a good cry with a glass of wine, I realized that soon there won't be a cyclone of energy to walk through that door and drop his dirty football stuff, leave his wet towels in the bedroom, bring me dirty laundry and scarf down whatever food he can find. That bag of trash won't have a teen boy to carry it down to the dumpster. The lawnmower will need a new driver. And there will one day be a shortage of golf balls in my yard... and that's when it hit me. I'm two years away from facing this daily. Two years and this will be my normal.
How do y'all face the empty nest? I think I need a new hobby. I'd take up running again if my knees and back could take it... maybe I will anyway and just give them the challenge. Maybe the stress on my body will relieve the sadness in my mind.
Time to face the future ahead of me, and what this empty nest will look like, and how I will become the best version of what this momma wants her children to see.
Two years... if it's anything like the last 26, they will go by in the blink of an eye.
