Late Night Call

No parent ever wants "that" call. That call that starts, "Mrs. Slaughter? ... This is officer so-n-so, calling for your daughter Jesslyn... She was in an accident..." You can't prepare your heart quick enough to not stop beating, or to tell your stomach not to fall out. All you can do is pray.

We were blessed. She was truly being watched over last night. I pray every day for my kids, their decisions, their safety, etc... I feel that God truly had his hand around her last night. She had reached for her Gatorade, and hit the rumble strip on the fog line and jerked the wheel to the left and over corrected, crossed oncoming traffic and flipped her car upside down. What didn't happen... She didn't hit oncoming traffic. She didn't go off the road into the group of trees on the other side of the driveway. She wasn't injured. At. All. She said her legs were "hard to pull out" of the car, but they weren't pinned. She squeezed out the passenger side window, the rest of the glass in the vehicle was blown out, but she crawled through the glass covered ground and had a tiny tiny scratch on her pinky knuckle. 

I've handled many many auto claims. Many with the exact same scenario, that have ended much worse. I've seen first hand the results of what that overturned vehicle can do. But last night, we were the ones blessed by God's grace and protection. I didn't get the even scarier phone call that they had taken her to the hospital. 

As I went to bed last night, I couldn't even begin to worry about the ticket, the car, the insurance. All I could do was thank God, over and over and over, for keeping my baby girl safe and watching over her. Somehow, someway, he will help us replace the vehicle. But replacing my baby girl is impossible. 

Lord, Thank You. 

All My Worries...

Life has been so crazy these last few weeks. Graduation is crashing down around me, one month from today! I've become stressed, worried that I won't get everything done, that I won't be able to afford everything, that I'll forget something, etc... I was ordering graduation open house invites last night and I have No. Idea. how many to order?? Getting a list from my son is about impossible. He procrastinates as much as his mom.

So last night, as I was freezing cold (thank you Michigan for the snow in April) at soccer practice for almost two hours, I was getting caught up on my devotionals and reading through the Bible in a year plan. I heard this song... then I heard it again this morning. God is speaking to me.

Strangely Dim

"But when I fix my eyes on all that your are, and every doubt I feel deep in my heart, grows strangely dim. All my worries fade, and fall to the ground, cause when I seek your face, and don't look around, any place I'm in, grows strangely dim."

I've been so focused on what I need to do, that I've started to lose track of who will provide, and who will guide my plans. The good Lord, probably doesn't give a whole lot of thought to whether I should have a taco bar or sandwiches at the open house, he probably doesn't need to choose if I leave it open for 2 hours or 4, but he does care that I seek His face through out the entire month. And that I fall on my knees and dump all my worries and stress at His feet. Or that, I fall on my knees in thanksgiving and praise Him for all the blessings we have seen in these 18 years with my son. 

I've been so busy worrying about this next big step that I haven't enjoyed the blessings of it all. He has a fantastic opportunity ahead of Him. God has blessed Him. God has blessed us. The future is wide open. There are question marks and unknowns at every turn. My son is going to COLORADO. Yes, he will be out of state and will be wrestling for Western State Colorado University, and Yes, I'm beginning to miss him already. I'm making lists and lists in my head of everything he will need. Those lists turn into money worries and time worries, and then I begin to lose myself in it all. 

I've worried so much so, that I barely took the time to thank the Lord for my youngest son's baptism on Sunday. I'm letting the blessings slip away... So today, and hopefully everyday, I will fix my eyes on Him. I will pass along these worries and fears, no matter how insignificant in the overall scheme they may be. I will allow Him entry into my plans and watch "All My Worries fade"... because in God's hands, all the problems I have, do grow "Strangely Dim." 

A New Day

Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I hit snooze. Sometimes I know I need to do something and I ignore it for As. Long. As. Possible. Sometimes my dishes sit in the sink for TWO days. Sometimes my laundry is a mountain that seems impossible to climb. And, sometimes, just sometimes, my daily grind begins to grind on me. 

These are days like today. Today I did NOT want to get up. My alarm was set for 4:30am, I had an early morning workout planned. I had conferences at 7:15am, I had to work, then another meeting at noon, then more work then a wrestling meet. I cannot get it all done. I managed to wash my blender and a few dishes. One load of laundry. Ironed the hubby's clothes for the wrestling meet. Made it to conferences almost on time, with my hair done, makeup on and REAL clothes - not workout clothes. On the way home, the days To-Do List was running through my mind. There was this never-ending list ahead of me. I was letting the grind grind me down. Walking up the walk to my door I saw this view... 

If I had slept in, I would have missed the sunrise, the sparkle of ice and frost on all the trees, the crunch of the snow under my feet. The cold, so cold it freezes in your nose, brisk air on my face. And the peace that comes early in the morning when it's just you and a glimpse of God's creation. This picture doesn't even do it justice. It was so gorgeous that I just stopped as I was mid-thought on item number 29 of today's list. I stopped and balanced my coffee and snapped a pic, thinking I'm lucky I even looked up to see this. I was so lost in my own world that I wasn't looking around. I wasn't looking for the glimpse of beauty that was right there in front of me. And if nothing else, I had a moment of peace in my busy day. A moment of thankfulness for the world I live in, the home I love, and the beauty that is around me. 

If we don't look beyond our own lives and to-do lists, we cannot be there for others. If we are obsessed with our own failures, how are we going to be a light to others? Life is meant to be lived. No just to be alive, not just breathing and doing, but truly lived. Enjoy all the little moments. Treasure all the little joys. Bless those around you. Be the glorious masterpiece God intended you to be. Instead of dwelling on what you have to do, dwell instead on what's been given to you. Some wise person once said, "Count your blessings." Today my blessings completely outnumber my to-do lists and my burdens. 

Blessings and Stuff

I'm sure you've had "one of those days..." I'm having one today. Busy at work, busy at home. Phone won't quit ringing. Bills are due. I started a workout THREE times and had to stop to take care of something (problems of working at home).

I went to do laundry and the three loads I did yesterday multiplied somehow and there are another three loads waiting for me. I swear I just washed some of that stuff... I went to take a blueberry shake out of the fridge after my attempt at a workout, dropped it on the floor and had blueberry shake in my hair, on my neck, on my clothes, all over the floor, the fridge...  And, I wanted to scream.

But, out of nowhere this song popped into my head... This is the Stuff. So needed to hear this today, 

"In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed." 

Blueberry Shakeology in my hair, failed workout, busy day and on top of it all, I have to see that this is the stuff YOU use. The little things that you use to humble us, to guide us, to show us your plan is much much bigger than any that I think I may have. I thought I was on a schedule today, but you have shown me your schedule. 

"I've got to trust you know exactly what you're doing, might not be what I would choose, 

but this is the stuff you use...

Break me of impatience

Conquer my frustrations

I've got a new appreciation

It's not the end of the world."

So thank you Lord. Thank you for all my blessings, whether they feel like cursed blessings or not. You have blessed me richly in ways that money cannot touch. The little things, this STUFF that does drive me crazy, isn't going to define me, or my life. Your plans for me are much greater.

Today I will treasure the STUFF, I will look for the happy in all the crazy frustrations. Oh, look at that, with -16* weather the dog crapped in the basement... And, so is life. Excuse me while I go clean up ANOTHER mess. And no, I'm not joking. I'd post a pic but that would just be gross...